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 Fragment #21 - Box of Tears

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MessageSujet: Fragment #21 - Box of Tears   04.01.09 22:41

Thursday 27th december 2007
in London

This is what I found under my bed when I decided to look for the box. It should be there. This is where I left it. I was sure of it. What could have happened? I can feel sadness rise in me, taking power over every one of my muscles, every part of my flesh. Where could it be?
I don’t understand. I try and search in my memory where is the blind spot, when did I take the box to put it somewhere else. But I can’t remember.
I just want to fondle it, open silently the lid and read Alex’s letter.
But I can’t find it.
I slither under the bed, to check with my very eyes if the shade doesn’t hide a wooden box, this box of my Destiny. Where can it be?
Then I find out.
Only one person had access to my room when I wasn’t here, or while I was sleeping.
What have you done with the box?
He might have thought it was his. He might have thought that the fact Nathan, the guy from Paris gave it to him meant it could be his. But no, it is mine. He had to give it to me. Nathan said the box was mine.
Didn’t he say it was his and yours?
No, the box is mine. It is my future the box holds, it is my fork that is drawn on its lid.
How could Julian do such a thing? He knew I was linked to this wooden box.
I have to find Julian, to bring the box back.
I check in my mobile to send a text to Julian.
What I write is simple. I just want to know one thing.
Où est la boîte?
To: Julian

I sit on my bed, shedding a few tears for the vanished box, and the letter Alex wrote me, who vanished with it. I try to remember some bits of it.
… le pacte de cire collera nos lèvres …
… Le silence des traumatismes …
… Reste celui qui regarde la lune …

I look by the window. Up in the sky, the stars are staring back at me. Without the box, they are the only ones left to listen to me.
Now, the future holds nowhere but in the stars.
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