Fragment #17 - Gender

“Well the fact is that most of us males tend to be in a mild form of perpetual despair. Look at it this way: Men are idiots, we are! And because we are idiots we have no idea what to do about relationships, you see women, in general, are far more clever than your average male and they run circles round us because of this, you don't mean to, we're just too dim to do anything about it.”
I take a sip of my coffee, my point made.
“Okay then. What about gay men?”
“What about them? They're just as idiotic as the rest of us. Sexuality has nothing to do with emotional IQ. Most of the gay men I know are just as mystified about women as the rest of us. Fuck! Men don't even understand men, we can't win, if we like women then we have no clue and if we fancy men we make the same mistakes.”
“How about bisexuals?”
“Same story. All men are pretty much the same.”
“I'm just off to the little girls room, we'll continue this conversation when I get back.”

Why, you may ask yourself dear reader, am I saying all these bad things about my sex? Well in answer to your question I have to let you in on a little secret. I'm trying to get laid. I'm sitting in a café enjoying the company of a very nice lady. This is not a usual occurrence for me, normally I am stuck with my sister and her girlfriend while they bicker amongst each other about some imagined slight about (insert flimsy reason here) from the night/day/week/month/year/decade (delete as appropriate) before. But now, now I get to pretend that I'm a deep charming and interesting individual who could be considered as a possible vibrator replacement.
Well, no, that's not a nice thing to say. I do like this girl and perhaps things may progress in the future to the divorce stage. It's just that at the moment I have not gone further than the innocent kiss stage in years, yes reader, years, plural. In fact it has been so long that I think I have become a virgin again, also my right hand is getting really awful cramp these days and my left, as you know, got nailed to my leg.

“I'm back. What you thinking about?”
“Nothing, just day dreaming... So what do you have planned this evening?”
“Oh, you know. Home and watching telly.”
“Shame. Tell you what, how about I buy you dinner?”