Fragment #49 - On the road

I'm in Prestwick, with my suitcase. Just a few tops, jeans, a sweater, underwears... I've got my credit card and my mobile phone. Single ticket to London. I'm going to Mike's. I need him, I just badly need him. I've left a letter to Claire, telling I needed to leave for a while, to think about who I am, what I want... That kind of crap. I don't know where to go, and I want to see him again. I want to follow what my heart, my guts are saying. I don't care about reason. I take an envelopp out of my pocket. I threw the letter away I think. I just need the adress at the back of the envelopp. London.. I go to the desk, give my suitcase to check in. Yes, I packed it myself... I turn around, go to the waiting room. Buy a magazine. Without knowing it, it's time to leave. I'm in the plane. Things are vague, I don't listen to the hostess telling us the security things... I want to focuse on my magazine but I feel so tired, I can't read. Let's sleep a bit.

When I wake up the flight is almost over. I'm surprised, I haven't realised, it's been quick. I had this dreamless sleep I have when I'm serene, it's a good sign. I listen to the steward announcing our arrival "Ladies and Gentlemen, we are now approching Seville" ...
What? Seville? I may be mistaken it's because the last place I've been to was Seville. I have a look outside. We are descending on some landscapes I don't recognize as English countryside. It seems to be warm and sunny outside.

Half an hour later, I'm in front of the airport, with my suitcase. I'm in Seville. I'm lost, I've nowhere to go. I remember about that man, what was his name again... Marco? Mario? He was working at this bus station. I call a taxi, ask to go there, because I know I won't find the place on my own. We get to the bus station. The old big bus station is on the right, definitly looking like this museum in Paris. The other one is on the left, modern looking. I pay for the course, get out of the car with my suitcase. Damn, there is nothing in it to suit the Spanish weather...

I hurry into the bus station. It's empty. All the cashiers are closed, except from one. I go straight to it. There he is. I look at him, deep inside his dark eyes. Gosh he is sexy... I don't know what to say... How do you say this in Spanish... He looks at me, he doesn't recognize me, he is asking silently... I answer... "Help me."

...

I wake up in a sudden, gasp, try and take a breath. I'm sweating. I breathe, look around. It's dark. I'm in my bedroom. I sight. It was so real. I look at the alarm clock on the bedside. 4:34. I'm not supposed to wake up in the middle of the night when taking sleeping pills. They are crap. Tomorrow I'll stop this crazy thing of taking medication. It's not what I need. It gives me weird dreams. What do they mean... ?