Fragment #79 - Dilemna

I’m meeting up with my little bro. I haven’t seen Paul in a week, I think he’s still upset with me. I’m not sure exactly why. Was it the way I talked to Dad? The fact that I had a secret from him? I don’t know. Instinctively, I know that there is some misunderstanding, and that is something that I want to solve. I just don’t accept not being in good terms with Paul. We’ve been through too much, both of us. But Paul always had a special relationship with my parents: without being brainwashed about them, he is extremely closed to Mum and Dad, closer than Daniel and I could ever be. To think that for some reason, I could be accusing Dad of anything bad, or just that I could be cross with him, Paul wants proves of those reasons. For him, Dad is a great person, in all sense: good in his job, good with his friends, good in his family. It is hard, in those conditions, to try to make Paul face the facts I have discovered. But then again, if I don’t give him these facts, in order to protect him from this disillusion that I had to face myself, he will not believe me and be angry at me. And that I don’t want either. So, what should I do? There is no easy solution. And it’s crap. Either I keep my brother in the dark, and somehow safe, or I tell him the truth and it’s not guaranteed that he will not hold a grudge against me for opening his eyes.

Damn!