Fragment #62 - Christmas away

We decided to spend the evening in Barcelona. We went to the restaurant and had a nice typical Spanish dinner, nothing really linked to Christmas. Though, coming back to the hostel, we all went to to our room to freshen up, and take out from our bag objects wrapped in glittering colourful papers. Downstairs, we look at each other like, eyes sparkling like kids. We shouldn’t open our gifts now but tomorrow morning is packing day, as we are leaving for Sevilla. The hostel’s staff had decorated a Christmas tree, in white and red. We sit on the couches and chairs gathered up in a corner of the living room, the tree next to one of them. The tinsels are shedding lights and sparkles. We just miss a fireplace. I give my gifts to the concerned persons, DVDs and a watch for Sarah. I get three small packages in return. We have been careful finding gifts as small and light as possible, and this looks like a funny coincidence. I open the first one, a pocket book from Jack. Sean bought me a DVD – Thanks Sarah for knowing my films’ tastes. I open Sarah’s gift. Silver engraved Celtic patterned earrings, with small amethysts. They are so delicate. I look up at Sarah, ready to thank her with all my heart. She is looking at me. She is waiting to know if I liked those. And then I realize how much time she spent looking for this Christmas gift. That she was eager to please. That she is actually looking for my big sister’s love and approval. I haven’t realize how close we got the last few months. I may have actually not been aware for several years that we were missing each other. I remember the last Christmas we spent together.

We were at home, in Tours. My mother just got up: she is in holidays, and depressed as usual, she spends most of her days in bed. This is my last year in high school. I’m hoping I will be able to escape next year. Sarah is fifteen. We are dining a frozen chicken and some potatoes Sarah cooked. I got the Christmas tree and the chocolate log. Our mother is not talking much, we wish each other merry Christmas before starting this sad meal. Tomorrow morning it will be Christmas gifts opening. Something our respective dads would have sent, some books mum would have order. I didn’t buy anything for Sarah, but she had the idea to buy me a necklace. And I felt uncomfortable opening the gift, because I didn’t buy her anything. My sister spent the rest of her holidays at her dad’s place, leaving me with mum. Six months later, I was gone, in a preparatory class in Nantes. I left for Scotland three years after that. When she came to Glasgow in January, I hadn’t seen her in a year or so.

These holidays weren’t just a plan for a random young people trip. This was Sarah’s idea of a family Christmas. She absolutely wanted me on board. How could I have doubt that? I stay silent for a couple of seconds. She looks disappointed. It’s time to speak up. “Merci, je les adore.” I love them, really. Sarah is smiling now. We all are. Merry Christmas guys…