Fragment #70 - Trip to Inverness

I get out the car. Freezing! I close the car and start walking down the street. I hope what I am doing is right. I look at the paper that Joe gave me. I remember the look on Steve’s brother’s face. I don’t think he really approved of what I am going to do, but I’ve run out of idea. I stop in front of the number 12. Now that I’m here, I’m slightly frightened. Am I not intruding in a family reu…?
“Charlie!!!”
Oh my.
“Hi, Mrs Brymer. How are you?”
“Don’t stay outside. Come on in!”
I follow Steve’s mum in. I met her only once before, at graduation at uni. I kept a fond memory of a loving mum, ready to do anything for her sons. What does she know of me and Steve? I find myself seated in her living room, a nice cup of tea in my hand.
“I’m sorry, the boys are out, I think they went fishing. I wonder why Stevie didn’t tell us about your arrival.”
“Well, probably because he doesn’t know anything about it. I’m here to surprise him.”
“Oh, I see. Well, I don’t think he expects anything. Where are you staying tonight?”
“I… I don’t know yet.”
“Well, it’s sorted; you’ll stay in the visitors’ bedroom.”
“Are you sure? I really don’t mind staying at the hotel.”
“Nonsense. You’re Steve’s girlfriend! No way will you be staying at the hotel. I only ask for some discretion at night…” She winks at me. What a strange mother compared to mine!

“Mum, we’re home.”
I freeze when I hear Steve’s voice. I shouldn’t have come. I knew it, this was the biggest mistake of my life and I’m going to regret it forever. I hear the footsteps getting closer to the kitchen where I’m helping out Victoria (as she asked me to call her). The door opens and Steve comes in, followed closely by his dad, Joseph. As soon as he catches sight of me, silent falls in the room.
“Steve, why don’t you show Charlie her room, please? I didn’t have the time to do it.”
“Hum, sure, mum.” He didn’t stop looking at me.

He opens the door of the bedroom and let me go in. I enter and sit on the bed, setting my eyes on the man I love.
“Steve.”
He opens the curtains, and search through the wardrobe for some sheets.
“Steve…”
He stays still, his back towards me. I get up, and come closer to him, slowly, as if I was taming a wild animal.
“Steve, look at me.” He eventually turns around. He has got tears in his eyes, but I know that it doesn’t mean that the game is over.
“What are you doing here, Charlie?”
“I love you and I want you in my life, Steve.”
“You didn’t read…”
“I did. If you think that you don’t suit my life, then I’ll change it, because it is not you who don’t suit my life but my life that doesn’t suit you. I need you, Steve.”
“No, you’re wrong, you don’t need me. You didn’t need me in Dakar.”
“It was because you were with me, that I found the courage to do what I did! I need you! My life is empty if you’re not in it. I’m empty! I can’t write anymore, I can’t eat anymore… What other proofs do you want? I love you…”
He opens his arms and I take refuge in them.
“I suppose nothing more my love. You came all this way… I love you too, Charlie. I’m sorry if I made you suffer.”
“I don’t need your excuses. I just need you. But I didn’t mean to disturb your reflection by coming here. I just wanted you to understand.”
I pause a little.
“I… I have to be back in Glasgow tomorrow by noon.”
“So soon?”
“Well, honey, we just came back from a two-week holidays, you know…”
I hug him tightly on my heart. I love you, Steve, don’t leave me, please…