Fragment #48 - Troubled sleep

I wake up. I open my eyes, I don't see really well. What time is it? Four, five pm, according to the light outside... I want to get up, but I let myself fall again on the mattress. I don't want to go out to bed, not yet... What would I do outside, it's cold. But sleeping isn't good. What were these dreams again...

I'm a classroom, with thirty, forty pupils. I'm wearing pyjamies. I've got nothing prepared. They talk and talk and talk, I don't know them, they are strangers to me and they don't listen, they won't listen... I finally escape the classroom. I don't know that school. Where am I?
And Mike is there. Waiting for me. But he won't talk. We are just at his place. He starts kissing me, in his expert way, his hand going down my spine, the other one already trying to unbutton my jeans. He removes my top, I'm lying on his bed. He takes off his shirt, his own jeans, my bra. We go on kissing...

I wake up. I miss him. I want someone next to me in my bed, I want to be in a man's arms. Meds really didn't help. Its getting worse. That doctor was a quack. Fuck... Why should I take sleeping pills if I sleep that badly?
But it's actually powerful. My head falls back on the pillow. I think I can hear the door open... But my eyes are closed already. Back to troubled sleep.