Fragment #14 - Wake up Amy

My head is aching. I open one eye, then the other. There is no light. Things are dark. Why things are this dark? Someone is breathing next to me. Sleeping. Right… I’m in a single bed, under something which looks like a stinking sheet. I’m getting used to the dim light, and start picturing things. A small room: probably a hostel room. There seems to be some closed curtains, but no other lights than the one shed by streetlamps. I get out of the bed, he is fast asleep. Should I wake him up? I start looking for my clothes, not much hopefully: a dress, my shoes, maybe I could even find my underwear. Anyway, most important: find my handbag. And leave. Should I say goodbye? Are they things you do in that case, some king of polite rites? No way. I put on the dress. I take my shoes on one hand, my bag in another one. Let’s find the door. The opposite way from the window… Good one. I get out, close the door behind me. The corridor is dark as well: it’s not an expensive hotel, they are saving electricity. I feel confused. Don’t know what to do. I should just run out, out from this place I don’t know. Am I still in Glasgow? I don’t feel safe anymore, this is weird. I find the stairs, can’t decide what is safer, stairs or elevator?

I take a deep breath. I should calm down. I feel paranoiac, I smell my own bitter sweat, mixed with his I guess. Can’t remember anything, my mind is blind. I take another breath. I’m at the end of the corridor, next to a window. I open it. Fresh air. I’m still in Glasgow, I feel it, this refreshing air, the rain coming in. I have a look inside of my small glittering bag, take my mobile out. 6:00. But is it 6am or 6pm? I have no idea. I’ve got several missed calls. Mark. Claire. People are looking for me. I wouldn’t mind having my sweet life back after all.

I fix my hair, call the elevator. Ground floor. And finally, I get into a normal hostel hall, with a receptionist and stuff. And lights. This is hurting me, but comforting at the same time. Keep running out, forget about the light. I try to steady my pace. I’ve put on my shoes, though I’ve got a messed up balance. And I get out from the hostel. I feel so ashamed… I recognize the street. City Center. Let’s just get the next bus to the West End. I’m freaking cold. I cross the street crammed between the high buildings made of dark walls and glass. I wait at the bus stop and get out my mobile again, I should call Claire. I remember those texts: “Happy New Year”… Well, I guess it started pretty strangely.