Fragment #68 - Moving out, moving in.

I smile at myself in the hall’s mirror. My hair is dishevelled, I am covered with dust and holding the top of a cardboard box with my chin. Nevertheless, I know I look radiant. Today is moving day for me, in my new cosy flat next to Queen’s Park! I remember how I just fell in love with the large windows in the living-room and bedroom, the view on the park, the cream walls, the high cellings, and the wooden floors. I smile, overhearing Sarah and Claire’s babbling talk in the stairwell. Those two became friends after our flatsharing experience. They are bringing in more boxes.
I think about the box I throw into the rubbish bin at Claire’s, with Steven’s stuff in it. It was time. And moving out was the moment for emptying my closet. Now comes a time when I am trying not being angry anymore, and don’t want to keep too much memories of this part of my past. It’s gone. It will always be part of who I am anyway, so there is no need to carry it along with me, to grieve for it. Not anymore. I wish him all the best, with his career and everything. I don’t blame him for taking it as an excuse: he wasn’t ready, we weren’t ready. I let it go. In the end, it’s nobody’s fault. As for Mike, Adam, Matthew… it’s nobody’s fault.
I think about my life now. Things change. Sometimes you don’t notice they do, but maybe that’s when the deepest changes occur. I settled back in Glasgow, in a new way. I think about dating Jack, which fulfills me with surprises, lightness, passionate kisses, unexpected nights out and conversations. I smile, thinking about his blue eyes and charming smile.
I smile thinking about the nights out with the girls, the dressing up and the girly conversations over a drink, with Sarah, the bubbly wee sister, Alison, the cheerful colleague, Ruth, the to-be married friend who wants me to be one of her bridesmaid, Claire, the flatmate and best ally in each and every situation, like when I told her I wanted to move in my own place…
I think that, all in all, everything is for the best. At least for one moment, it feels right, and I see for myself, with contentment, the achievements. This is a good moving in feeling. I blink, look at myself again in the mirror, and seeing the empty flat behind me, go back into action: there will be lots to do before tonight. There is no time for daydreaming.