Fragment #108 - My weekly appointment

Steve drops me there, and off he goes to work. I think he's slightly uncomfortable with that idea, leaving me to see "someone". Well, it wasn't really my choice either. But Mum, Dad, Paul, Cameron, the Police, Bob... Everybody said that I must have gone through some kind of trauma. My doctor, Dr Shepherd, seems to think so too. And she also said that it would not be any good for the baby.
And generally speaking, I don't want to become a freak. This episode already costs me too much. I can't recall how many journalists wanted to get my exclusive interview. Or how many wanted to put a photograph of me in the papers. Right. So that the crazy pervert of the other day could come back again... Geez!
So that's why I'm waving Steve good bye at the door of Dr Shibboan McCourt.

I'm looking through the window, my hand on my belly, as usual. The room is all silence. She's waiting for me to speak. To answer her only question of the day.

"Who is Matthew?"

It shouldn't be that hard to answer. But for the little I know of Doctor McCourt, I know she won't be satisfied by an easy escape. I'm trying to be the most honest and thorough possible.

After what seems to be ages, I turn away from the window, and sit back on the chair in front of her.
"Matthew was my first great love. He was the man I moved in with, and the man I tried to have a baby with. To me, I suppose, he seemed always to be the perfect guy, for everything." I pause.
"Seemed? Why, it's not the case anymore?"
"Well, Steve is kind of perfect too."
A pause.
"So, who's Steve?"
Silence. Actually I don't really know what this has to do with my kidnapping, but hey. Ok, focus.
"Steve... Steve is a shoulder. He's a physical protection. He's a soul mate too, but... There's something more physical, more real, to him, than there was to Matthew. As if Matthew wasn't meant to be physically with me..."
"Do you resent him?"
"Who, Matthew? What for?"
"For leaving you."
"Well, it's not as if he had a choice..." Silence. I look through the window again. When I speak again, my voice is so thin, it's almost a whisper. "But, yeah, a bit, somehow. Not that he... left. Rather than he didn't say goodbye."
A couple of minutes passes by. I turn around and look at her. She smiles.
"Very good, Miss Collomb. I think we should stop here for today. I'll see you next week."