Fragment #51 - Perpetual dissatisfaction

I get out from the GFT. It's dark, and Glasgow light and fresh rain stings my face and hair. It's so different from the warm and lively atmosphere of Barcelona which was shown in the film. I enjoyed it. Vicky Christina Barcelona. It made me think... I'm wondering – but as any woman watching this movie would do I think - Am I more a Christina, the wild and sexy one or a Vicky, shy and rational, discreet even? Do I have anything of genius, craziness and sexiness Maria Elena do have? I tend to be Vicky, the conventional one, of course. This is what society is asking for, and Woody Allen is quite caustic about it. Marriage, studies, friends, affairs... He doesn't let us believe that living the way it was "meant to be" is the right thing, he is telling us we are just fooling ourselves. But as we all do in the end. We all want to be Christinas, live wild stories and follow our instincts, we do want to be limitless. Is that possible though?

I think I have something of Christina. I'm also someone who can never be satisfied. And somehow for her it's something good, because it makes her always look for something new, adventures, work, intellectual stimulation. Do I have that in me? I need to make changes in my life, before it's too late. I really feel like going to Spain now. Barcelona, and then Seville. I would love to go to London too, I can't stop dreaming I'm going there, maybe it's a sign, I don't know. I should do something anyway, in order to forget I can't stand my normal boring teacher life. Let's live something wild...

Mark touches my arm gently. "So, did you enjoy the film?" He noticed I was lost in my thoughts, my day dreaming, but he didn't tell. He just tried, gently, to bring me back into normal life. This is what he is trying to do those days. He is sweet.