Fragment #37 - David's Lament

Saturday 24th April 2010
In Glasgow

“I can't take it any more!”
“I'll change the channel if you like.”
“No, not that.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Well it's obviously not nothing, otherwise you wouldn't have just proclaimed that you 'can't take it any more'.”
“Well...”
“Well what?”
“I'm just sick and tired of being single, waking up every morning on my own. Nobody to hold on to when watching TV.”
“Well there is always someone out there for you.”
“That's bullshit. Everyone else has someone, everyone but me.”
“I'm single.”
“No you're not! You're only single on a part-time basis, you keep breaking up and getting back together with that French bird.”
“She broke up with me again a few days ago.”
“Why?”
“Dunno, I'm sure I did something. I've apologised... I spend most of my time apologising to her – I don't even know why I'm saying sorry to her most of the time.”
“Twenty pence says that you two will be back together by the middle of next week.”
“Twenty pence! High stakes indeed!... Anyway, don't be so fucking miserable. You'll find someone.”
“Who? Who would go for me? I have nothing to recommend me! Nothing that a girl wants! Look, you have this thing that I don't.”
“A penis?”
“Shut it! No you have what I don't – and that's talent."
“You do have talent. Anyway... what the fuck? What talents do I have... other than finger paining?
"Well you can write too, not just finger paint. There is nothing that I'm actually good at.”
“You're good at being single.”
“Fuck you Ed. Fuck you!”
“And you're good at complaining.”