Fragment #59 - Communication

I am on my way to see Dc McCourt. She doesn't bother me anymore. It doesn't hurt the same way, to face facts, fears, realities. They really seem less significant now, and I am not afraid anymore to tell them aloud. I am on Sauchiehall Street when my mobile rings. I rummage through my things in my bag to take it out. Jack. I answer.
"Hello!"
"Hello Amy! Look, Sarah is on the Internet, she found very cheap tickets to Barcelona, what do you think, instead of flying to Seville? We could go down there in bus afterwards?"
Barcelona? Of course I would love that!
"I sounds like a genius idea! Book one for me."
"Okay great. Are you coming tonight?"
"I can't, I've got jotters to mark. What about tomorrow?"
"Okay sure. See you tomorrow then! Bye"
"Bye"
When I hang up, I have walked to the doctor's door. I really know the way to go there too well.

Minutes later... I am sitting in front of Shiobban McCourt. She is wearing some blue jeans, with a nice black jacket and a pearl necklace. She is reasonnably thin for a fifty years old woman. Her brown hair is a bit shorter, she went to the hairdresser. She looks young and dynamic, even if her face and green eyes tell people she is more mature.

"You are not a person who talk a lot to others, am I wrong?"
"No you are right. But it's fine to be a private person isn't it?"
"Not really. Obviously it doesn't suit you, it's unhealthy even. You came here to talk after all"
Well not really, I came here because people wanted me to... Whatever.
"You can't spend any more time telling me things you should tell to the concerned ones. Can you?"
Of course I can! Well, I am not helping there...
"My point is you need to learn how to talk things aloud. At the right moment, to the right person. But you can't stay quiet all the time. You need to refuse suffering silence."

I remember when I asked Claire about me and Mike. It has actually been helpful. It wasn't too much to ask. And maybe people like to know what's going on in others' people head. And maybe, even, not only out of an unhealthy sort of voyeurism. Let's give people some credit Amélie...

"Think about it. Open yourself up."
I remain silent, but slightly nod.
"So you came here a month ago now. Do you feel better?"
"I think I do, yes."
"Could you be more precise? Where do you see improvements in your life?"
I explain things about not having bad dreams before going to work anymore. I am feeling physically more confident. I feel stronger. And there are Sarah and her flatmates, we are having a good time. And the trip to Spain during the upcoming holidays... My life is as good as it used to be for me in this place, Glasgow.
"Good for you. I agree to think that you seem to be feeling better. Maybe you could come here only once a week now? But try and talk to people around you, it's essential. Remember: communication is everything. Okay?"
I nod again. Communication. That's what it is all about. Let's try this out.