Fragment #65 - Cigarette time

I am standing at the window of Sarah and I’s bedroom. We are not allowed to smoke in the bedrooms, but I nevertheless lit a cigarette, wishing that the fresh air of the evening will make the smell and smoke go away. I am looking at the city lights. It’s dark, but the lights and sounds let me know the city isn’t sleeping at all. It’s New Year’s Eve, and party time. I am wearing a dark blue strapless dress, and I am ready for the big night. Though, I am taking a small break from the rushing life. Just a few minutes, smoking my cigarette, and looking down at the urban life.
Another breath. It calms me down. It’s not like I am not feeling okay, but I realized I may need to take breaks to stay okay, and not waiting till I just break down. I decided to have a good life, and to be happy. I look at my cigarette. If it makes me better, it doesn’t matter right? How bad this lie sounds... I don’t think this is my doctor’s advice and as tonight is the night of good resolutions… I already have some ideas for my new year’s resolutions. And to quit smoking isn’t part of them. Not yet. Next year maybe. I still enjoy smoking too much.
Someone knocks at the door. I put the rest of my cigarette out, slowly, and throw it through the window. I let it open, to let the smoke go away. Life rushes back into my area of perceptions. I let the people know they can enter. Sean shows up and tells me that we are leaving for the restaurant. We are having a night out in Seville to celebrate New Year’s Eve. What a more hopeful way to start this new year, with family and friends, and in a joyful and sunny amazing city?